And Some Doubted

Day Two of Forty Days to a Closer Walk with God. I read the devotion and settled in for the meditation part. The book suggests that you take the word you use to address God and go no further. You simply address God, quiet yourself, and communicate with Him. I settled in as suggested, sitting up comfortably, closing my eyes to meditate. This is a little challenging for me, to shut off my mind and simply commune with God. I ended up falling asleep, and that would be discouraging, but really, can it be bad to fall asleep with the name of Jesus in your mind?

Matthew 28: 17
And when they saw Him, they fell down and worshiped Him; but some doubted.

The scripture for today was Matthew 28: 16-20. I kept returning to verse 17--I was struck by the fact that some doubted. This is pretty amazing when you think about it. The disciples and others are on the mountaintop, worshiping the resurrected Jesus, and yet, some doubted. I have friends who have said, if I could only just see Jesus, if He would only just talk to me, then I could know, then I could be certain, that He is true and real. But these people in Matthew saw the resurrected Jesus, and yet, some doubted. Isn't this comforting in an odd sort of way? They saw, believed, but still doubted. No doubt these were practical people, or scientific people, whoever they were, they just couldn't believe their eyes. Even for those who saw Jesus, it required faith, just like it requires faith for us today.

I'm not really a person who is plagued by doubt. I like the mystery of Jesus and the gospel. I like that we have a God so big we cannot begin to grasp who He is. I like that mysteriously He is in me, and mysteriously He says that if I am in Him and He is in me, then others may see Him in me too. I think, really? Even when I'm crabby? Even when I'm feeling mean? Even when I'm feeling weak and all alone? Even when I don't feel Him in me?

I hope that people do see Him in me, I pray for that every day, but boy, some days it sure does feel like a stretch!