In addition to the challenge of living this, I've struggled with God's mandate to love our neighbor as ourselves. It seems like, as a Christian, with a new Spirit put in me, that I ought to have been able to overcome the failings in my human nature to walk this path with joy. Instead, the path has been lonely, full of stumblings and the feeling of letting people and God down.
There are some bright sides to this path though, and I don't want to lose the light that I've gained. I stuck with God. I learned to not just talk to God, but to let Him be my confidante and best friend. I learned to say, there is nothing, nothing, that can fill my empty places except for my relationship with God himself. I learned to shut my mouth (well, a lot of the times anyway), and to talk to God before I reacted to some of those rough spots in my path. I learned that "I" had to get out of the way, and say to God (with some desperation) every day, "I can't do this, You must help me". Every day God proved His faithfulness enabling me to make it through with some success. This is what I don't want to lose. I don't want to lose the fact that even now, when my path is getting easier, that only God can get me through. Only God can fill those empty places.
So, what does this have to do with holiness, love, Robin Hood and banners?
I'm reading two new books. The first, 66 Love Letters: A Conversation With God That Invites you Into His Story by Dr. Larry Crabb reminds me with every chapter, that God did not EVER promise us a trouble-free life. This wonderful book takes each chapter of the Bible as though it was a love letter from God. Each chapter begins with the author saying to God, "What are you saying to me God", and then (love this part), pretty much complaining about the hard stuff God wants us to do and learn. God answers the questions and invites us deeper into the story at the end of each chapter. The basic premise is, God wants us to be Holy. The only way He seems to get us to pay attention to Him is when we are in a time of brokenness. God will do whatever He has to do to get our attention and get us to His party. So, my stumbles have, hopefully, made me a mite more ready for God's party.
The second book I'm reading is through a church initiative: The Relationship Principles of Jesus by Tom Holladay and Rick Warren. This book focuses on the first two Commandments: Love the Lord Your God with your heart, soul and mind, and (this is key), your neighbor as yourself. I'm enjoying it much more than I thought, and, it also affirms my struggle to love (or even like) people that I'd just as soon not have a relationship with. But, there's no getting away from it. This is what God calls us to do. It too, is hard, but necessary.
So, now to Robin Hood. We watched the new Russell Crowe version this weekend. I really liked it. I don't know, there's something about these movie sagas (Lord of the Rings, Gladiator) that appeals to my imagination. Something about their good over evil theme attracts me. So, I'm watching Robin Hood, and they're going to war with their banners waving, and the streams of soldiers and horses, and I'm thinking, we should go to church waving some sort of Christian banner. Maybe the pomp and circumstance of it would be a fitting display of how we are all for Jesus.
So, I'm stuck on this idea for a while, and then I think of my books, and how God calls us
to holiness and love. And I think, oh yes! God says, "love your neighbor as yourself". God says "the world will know you by your love for me and for each other". Well, that means that "Love" should be the banner I'm waving every day. Kind of like that Arby's sign over the roast beef lover's head. Only I love GOD, not some stupid roast beef sandwich! My sign of love ought to be much more obvious. I have a feeling that I look like the goat in this picture way more often than I look like a holy woman! So people, be patient with me in my more "goatish" moments--start singing "His Banner Over Me is Love" and remind me Who I belong to.
