Becoming Real

Becoming real . . . the Bible tells us that when we fall in love with Jesus we "strip ourselves of our former nature [put off and discard your old unrenewed self] which characterized your previous manner of life, and becomes corrupt through lusts and desires that spring from delusion." Ephesians 4:22

I like what David Muyskens writes:

This new self is who we really are. We have a case of mistaken identity and work under the illusion that the old self is who we really are.

C. S. Lewis says:

The real Son of God is at your side. He is beginning to turn you into the same kind of thing as Himself. He is beginning, so to speak, to "inject" His kind of thought and life, His "zoe" (life) into you; beginning to turn the tin soldier into a live man. The part of you that does not like it is the part that is still tin. (Mere Christianity)

I can't improve on these two gentlemen, so I'll just say, it is challenging work, to become real!

The Inside is Bigger Than It's Outside

A new heart I will give you, and a new spirit I will put within you.
Ezekial 36:26

This week my Bible study corresponds to my exercise in walking closer to God every day. I have a lot of thoughts floating through my head. Let's see if I can make sense of them. Ezekial tells us that God will sprinkle clean water on us, and we'll be clean from all our uncleanness, and we won't have any idols any more in our lives. Nothing or no-one to take us away from our closeness with God. As a result God gives us a new heart and a new spirit. He takes away our stony hearts and gives us a heart of flesh. Not sure exactly what that means, but I'm pretty sure in some way He makes me nicer than I really am!

Bible study is on Revelation focusing this week on how we as Christians are sealed with the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is a "guarantee of our inheritance" (Eph. 1:13-14), we are "branded as Gods' own, secured for the the day of redemption" (Eph. 4:30) and we are appropriated as God's by "His seal on us and giving us His Holy Spirit in our hearts as a security deposit". Seems as though you can't have a new heart unless you are indeed sealed with the Holy Spirit, doesn't it? But, there's more! 2 Timothy 2:19 tells us "The Lord knows who are His, let all who names himself by the name of the Lord give up all iniquity and stand aloof from it" (scripture is from Amplified Bible). There's still more! 2 Timothy 2:20-21 gives us a little homily on how every home has vessels for special occasions, or honorable and noble use, and then vessels for menial and ignoble use. Guess what. If we are consecrated to the Master (God), then we become vessels for honorable and noble use. Further, if we are truly God's then we have His name on us and will have His seal on our foreheads to identify us as His own (Revelation 7:3). It's like a vast and wonderful story that you can't quite understand. But that's okay with me - I rather like the mystery of it. Which, now that I think of it is kind of weird cuz I really like to know what's happening in my life, both right now and in the future.

As I was thinking about this The Last Battle, the last of the Narnia stories by C. S. Lewis popped into my head. This is such a good story, and my favorite of the series. It's so hard to describe if you haven't read the story, but I'll try. It is the end times for Narnia. There is a great battle waging between good and evil and it appears as though the good will capitulate to the evil as they are cornered and forced into a little stable. But, here is the mystery and the wonder! Once inside the stable, where you'd expect darkness and defeat, there is instead light, and open air and comfort and beauty. In this new country then, you cannot see the stable itself, but only the door to the stable. If you peek into this door, you can still see the darkness of the old world.

Tirian says "it seems, then, that the Stable seen from within and the Stable seen from without are two different places." "Yes", said the Lord Digory. "Its inside is bigger than its outside". "Yes, said Queen Lucy. "In our world too, a Stable once had something inside it that was bigger than our whole world."

I think this is what it's like to have the Holy Spirit it you. It is bigger than our outside and makes us bigger than we can be without it. It's our seal, but also our, what shall I call it? I think I'll call it our "courage maker". It's what gives me the courage to forgive when I don't want to, stand up for what is right when all are against me, strive to become a Holy woman of God when really, it is just easier to be lazy. God, through His Holy Spirit, makes me bigger than I am, at least on my good days. On my bad days, I just pick myself up and try again!

Barb Thumb

For God alone my soul waits in silence; from Him comes my salvation. Psalm 62: 1

What an interesting prayer practice today! I am going to have to try this again and again because I couldn't quite get past "opening the door", so to speak.

"Imagine that you are the size of your thumb and able to enter the vast interior of your soul. Go deep within and explore what is there. Be aware that you have entered a holy place, the dwelling of the Spirit ofChrist. Stay there, and allow that entire space to fill with the love of God." from Forty Days to A Closer Walk With God.

I imagined that my soul was my heart, and that I walked in the door of my heart to be with God. It was to my mind like entering a very private and secret place. I was awed that God would meet me there. It sort of made me want to cry, but in the way that you feel when your emotions are too overcome to give expression. Not sure if that makes sense or not. Tozer and MacDonald both make reference to having a private place to meet with God. Tozer says:

From [humanity's] standpoint the most tragic loss suffered in the Fall was the vacating of the inner sanctum by the Spirit of God. . . .For so intimately private is the place that no creature can intrude; no one can enter but Christ, and He will enter only by the invitation of faith.

MacDonald says:

As the fir-tree lifts up itself with a far different need from the need of the palm-tree, so does each man stand before God, and lift up a different humanity to the common Father. And for each God has a different response. With every man he has a secret--the secret of a new name. In every man there is a loneliness, an inner chamber of peculiar life into which God only can enter. . . From this it follows that there is a chamber also--(O God, humble and accept my speech)--a chamber in God himself, into which none can enter but the one, the individual, the peculiar man,--out of which chamber that man has to bring revelation and strength for his brethren. This is that for which he was made--to reveal the secret things of the Father. - Unspoken Sermons: The New Name

I love that. A special place for me in God, and a special place for God in me.

He knows my Needs

Matthew 6: 8b
For your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.

Isn't it nice to be known? It is not easy for me to let just anyone know me. There is a good book by Susan Howatch called Glittering Images which is about a bishop that hides his real self from the world, his wife, and his church. I think we're all a lot like that. I show you the nice and helpful Barb, but, be warned, there's a perfectly witchy Barb inside (just ask my husband). I don't find it easy to show my real self to a lot of people. That takes a lot of vulnerability, a lot of risk. If I show you my real self, and I trust you with my real self, and I love you with my real love--well, you may disappoint me. You may betray me. You could hurt me. That's scary. But, my Father, now He knows me. He sees all the way down to the marrow of me. He knows what I need before I ask Him. He even knows I'm going to be crabby at Him because He and I don't agree on what's good for me. But still, but still . . . He knows, and He still loves, and He promises never to disappoint. I like that He knows me like that. I like that my every thought, action, purpose is exposed to Him. It's weird in a way, cuz I know what He sees and it isn't good! But what a comfort, that He knows and He still loves.