Secret Prayer Equals Open Rewards

Matthew 6:6
But when you pray, go into your [most] private room, and, closing the door, pray to your Father, Who is in secret; and your Father, Who sees in secret, will reward you in the open.

I haven't been much of a contemplative lately, no time and no peace! Tonight, though, is a quiet night; Ron is out golfing, the weather is beautiful, so, after a walk to the beach I was able to find some quiet time with God. I need it! Life is swirling around me and a little peace and quiet with God is critical.

The homily in Forty Days to a Closer Walk with God for today was on Centering Prayer, and finding a sacred word to bring your wandering thoughts back into communion with God. It was suggested that you ask God for a sacred word, so I did. I thought He must be mistaken after I received it, but turns out it is a perfect word for me. I can't tell you what it is though, it is a secret between me and Him. It's also suggested that you find a quiet place to just sit and commune with God. Easy to do tonight as I'm home alone. The only problem was, that I really had to chant that sacred word because my mind is racing to and fro and cannot settle in to just being quiet with God. What good is a quiet room without a quiet mind? I hope with practice and a continued desire to know God more I can learn the art of centering prayer.

Isn't the scripture for today great though? I never noticed before that "the Father, who sees in secret, will reward you in the open". An encouragement for life's journey. He sees the secret bad things too, but these He can turn to good when we let Him! It's the letting Him change me part that's hard. Turning my independence into dependence on Him will certainly require years of prayer, centering or not!

Abundant Fruit

I am the Vine. You are the branches.
Whoever lives in Me and I in him bears much (abundant) fruit. However, apart from Me [cut off from vital union with Me] you can do nothing. John 15:5

I would like to live a life that shows that I have a vital union with Jesus. I know that when I am cut off from Him I can do nothing. I know that I must continually be nourished by Him to have even a small showing of His abundance in my life. I think that one of the nicest things about being in Heaven is that I won't have to strive to be good anymore. I won't have to be tempted to do the not so nice thing and have internal arguments with myself pushing myself towards doing the right thing. I won't have to struggle. I know that God clearly tells us that our struggle is a part of His cutting away those pesky branches that don't bear fruit, but really, it is so tiring and draining. And don't you find it just hard sometimes figuring out exactly what it is God wants you to do? As I wrote that I had to kind of laugh at myself because God clearly tells us to love Him first, and our neighbor second. Rats! That just isn't always an easy!

A friend recently left a message on my phone. It said this: "God is Sovereign, just wanted you to remember that". It's been a message that has been sticking with me. There are circumstances in my life that have been draining my spirit. In my morning prayers, I am continually asking God to: nourish me with His body (John 6:57), make me like a watered garden (Isaiah 58:11), let me drink of Him (John 4:14), to dwell between my shoulders (Deut. 33:12), illumine me with the Holy Spirit (sadly, lost the scripture to that one), and to be yoked with me (Matthew 11:29). I usually end up saying you know God, I just can't do this, You say You're turning me into gold, really, I don't think I'm getting there. I don't feel like people are seeing Your Light when they see me. I'm trusting that little glimmers of You are somehow shining through.

If you've seen the movie "Ghost", you'll remember the scene where Whoopi Goldburg's body is all of a sudden, whoosh, inhabited by the spirit of Sam Wheat, the dead husband. That's what God needs to do with me every day, whoosh, just take me over.

If I could learn the discipline of abiding, I wouldn't need such drastic measures!

Pause and Calmly Think of That

The reading for day 4 is Psalm 46. It's funny, but one of the things I like best about my amplified Bible is the way they expand the word "selah"--pause, and calmly think of that. (In case you wondered, like me, the right pronunciation, it is see-lah),

So, for example:

The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our Refuge (our Fortress and High Tower). Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]! (v. 7)
The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our Refuge (our High Tower and Stronghold). Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]! (v. 11)

I even like how they put a comma after the word pause, it actually makes you stop and pause.

The whole Psalm is worthwhile pausing and thinking about actually. My favorite verses are 4 and 5:

There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the Most High. God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God will help her right early [at the dawn of the morning].

It's interesting to me that tabernacles is plural. There is a sense that we as human beings are now tabernacles in that we carry the light of God in us. In The Message, Eugene Peterson translates "God tabernacled among us" as, God "moved into the neighborhood". So, if we think of ourselves as being a tabernacle wherein we hold the Holy Spirit, well, what does that mean for our neighborhoods? It does make one pause, and calmly think of that!

Fret Not

How neat to have Psalm 37:1-7 as the verses to read for Day 4 in my Forty Days to a Closer Walk with God journey. I ended my morning devotions with this exact same passage. Truly a conversation with God. The passage starts out with "Fret not", but the verses that speak to me are:

Verse 5: Commit your way to the Lord [roll and repose each care of your load on Him]; trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) also in Him and He will bring it to pass.

Verse 7: Be still and rest in the Lord; wait for Him and patiently lean yourself upon Him; fret not yourself because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who brings wicked devices to pass.

I love the pictures that the Amplified version of the Bible evoke in my head. Roll and repose each care of your load on Him. I see all my burdens like a heavy stone wheel (you know, like in the BC comic strips) and what strength it takes for me to roll this burden on Jesus. I have to lean into the wheel with all my strength to roll it onto the Lord, then I have to let the "wheel of burdens" repose there. Webster's says that one of the meanings of repose is 'to take a rest'. Whew, I can let out a sign of relief now that my burdens are reposing on the Lord!

And then verse 7 - wait for Him and patiently lean yourself on Him. That just makes me feel so relaxed. I think of how good it feels when you're feeling, lost, alone, or just plain down, and then you have a friend that just gives you a great, gentle, loving hug, or just sits with you and holds your hand. It would be nice sometimes to have a physical presence of Jesus to lean into, but I guess that is what God created people for. To all my friends out there, thank you for all the times you have let me lean on you!

A Sound from Heaven

Acts 2: 2, 4
And suddenly there came a sound from heaven like the rushing of a violent tempest blast, and it filled the whole house in which they were sitting . . . and they were all filled (diffused throughout their souls) with the Holy Spirit.

When I think of the Holy Spirit, I think most often of comfort. Yet these verses tell me that the Spirit comes to us like a violent tempest blast, a force to be reckoned with. Sometimes when it's storming I think, this is what the Holy Spirit sounded like when it first came. Not some meek gentle breeze, but a roaring wind. I like to imagine that wind blowing through me and just emptying me out of all the useless stuff that I hang on to, cleaning me out, and setting me back on my feet to do the work God's given me (and you) to do, sharing His good news with the world.

I'm so meek about it. I don't want to offend, or be rejected, so I give a meek little testimony and water down the Spirit, taking away it's power. I think of that old children's song: This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine . . . put it under a bushel - NO!! But, I do put it under a bushel, I limit the power of the Holy Spirit in me by not fulling yielding control of my life to Him.

I think the Holy Spirit is wild and powerful, and life changing. There is a wonderful poem by John Donne (Holy Sonnets: Batter My Heart three person'd God). The following lines capture what I think the Holy Spirit means to do in us:

That I may rise and stand, oer'throw me and bend your force to
break, blow, burn and make me new.

Jeremiah 20:9 also captures the essence of the Holy Spirit that is active in us:

If I say, I will not make mention of [the Lord] or speak any more in His name, in my mind and heart it is as if there were a burning fire shut up in my bones. And I am weary of enduring and holding it in; I cannot [contain it any longer].

Can you imagine the excitement every day would bring if I truly felt like Jeremiah, like holding God's name in was like a burning fire shut up in my bones. Can you imagine the excitement each day would bring if every day I let the powerful Holy Spirit have it's wild and wonderful way with me? Would I be shunned for my fire? Would I care?

And Some Doubted

Day Two of Forty Days to a Closer Walk with God. I read the devotion and settled in for the meditation part. The book suggests that you take the word you use to address God and go no further. You simply address God, quiet yourself, and communicate with Him. I settled in as suggested, sitting up comfortably, closing my eyes to meditate. This is a little challenging for me, to shut off my mind and simply commune with God. I ended up falling asleep, and that would be discouraging, but really, can it be bad to fall asleep with the name of Jesus in your mind?

Matthew 28: 17
And when they saw Him, they fell down and worshiped Him; but some doubted.

The scripture for today was Matthew 28: 16-20. I kept returning to verse 17--I was struck by the fact that some doubted. This is pretty amazing when you think about it. The disciples and others are on the mountaintop, worshiping the resurrected Jesus, and yet, some doubted. I have friends who have said, if I could only just see Jesus, if He would only just talk to me, then I could know, then I could be certain, that He is true and real. But these people in Matthew saw the resurrected Jesus, and yet, some doubted. Isn't this comforting in an odd sort of way? They saw, believed, but still doubted. No doubt these were practical people, or scientific people, whoever they were, they just couldn't believe their eyes. Even for those who saw Jesus, it required faith, just like it requires faith for us today.

I'm not really a person who is plagued by doubt. I like the mystery of Jesus and the gospel. I like that we have a God so big we cannot begin to grasp who He is. I like that mysteriously He is in me, and mysteriously He says that if I am in Him and He is in me, then others may see Him in me too. I think, really? Even when I'm crabby? Even when I'm feeling mean? Even when I'm feeling weak and all alone? Even when I don't feel Him in me?

I hope that people do see Him in me, I pray for that every day, but boy, some days it sure does feel like a stretch!

But You Would Not

I've started a new book: Forty Days to a Closer Walk with God: The Practice of Contemplative Prayer, which walks you through the process of Lectio Divina. In this practice you read scripture and listen for a word from God. Journaling your thoughts is encouraged, and thus I am recording my thoughts here. The suggested scripture for day one is Isaiah 30:15:

"For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: in returning to Me and resting in Me you shall be saved; in quietness and in trusting confidence shall be your strength. But you would not. (Amplified)

Sadly, I think my word from God is: you would not. I read God's promises, I share His promises with others, but deep down, I would not. I would not get my strength from quietness and confidence. I would not rest in God. Even if I get that feeling--you know the one--where you do feel deep down that everything will be all right, I choose not to rest in it. I would not. I'm like the following verses - "I say no - I will speed my own course, I will ride my swift steed doing things my own way". Why do I choose this when I can rest in the Lord God? When quietness and trusting confidence can be my strength? Verse 18 says that "the Lord is a God of justice, and that we are to be envied who expect, look for, and long for Him--His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy, and His matchless unbroken companionship".

My problem is I'm too grounded in this temporal world. I believe this world over and above my heavenly world. I believe this world over and above God. I need to deepen my connection to God. I need to deepen my trust in God. I need to change my would not into I will. I need to rest in God and allow Him to do this work in me.