Surfwise

I was on fire to see this documentary (Surfwise: The Amazing True Odyssey of the Paskowitz Family) about a father who took his wife and 9 children in a 24 foot camper to travel and surf, ditching the conventional life for a life of fun and adventure. The clip, from one of my favorite HD shows, The Ultimate Trailer Show, seemed much more positive than the actual documentary turned out to be. It turned out to be a little more poignant, a little more sad, a little more harsh than what I imagined it would be. Although the children enjoyed what was in many ways an idyllic childhood, they never received any formal schooling, were with their family pretty much 24/7, and when the oldest finally moved out at 23, his father was unhappy with him. Sad because the kids, now married with spouses and on their own, were unprepared to live in the real world. Sad because they harbor some resentment towards their parents, and dad in particular. Sad because they didn't all get together to literally join hands and form the family circle for 10 years. Poignant to hear dad say "I was harsh sometimes, I could have been easier on my kids". Don't all of us as parents feel that way sometimes. There are no do-overs with parenting. We give it our best shot, and then all of us have to forgive each other for the mistakes we make.

In the end, they do all join hands once again, they do forge ahead with lives and jobs (1 brother, who has a son with autism, opened a surf school for children with autism). They actually all lead pretty creative lives, teaching others to surf, being in bands, pursuing graphic arts. It's hard to get that balance between regimented schooling and creativity, and I guess all we can do is keep trying. I think the kids did love their childhood, but wished that they had the balance necessary to pursue their adult dreams and get on in the world.

I, for one, think we all need to put more adventure in our lives. We give up our play too easily to become responsible adults. I hope that there will be a surfer Barb in my future - it looks like fun, and must feel a little like flying.